Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Patience: The Hardest Lesson to Learn

I have never been a patient person. Whether it was dealing with mundane tasks like standing in line at the post office or sitting in rush hour traffic, to waiting for my diet to finally start giving me results or waiting for "time to pass" so my emotional wounds can heal, you could pretty much say I have had zero patience in life. But has that changed how fast things come to me? No. Has it delayed good things from happening? Probably. Has it frustrated the hell out of me? ABSOLUTELY!

I certainly don't think I'm alone in this kind of mentality, but in the past I've definitely thought that out of all my friends and peers, I've had to be the most patient of them all. It seemed the more patience was needed of me, the harder it was to get through anything. Having patience (and I mean truly having it—not just convincing yourself otherwise) has been something I've been "working on" for years now, but it's only until this summer or so that my lesson in patience has really kicked in. Let's just say that this summer has been one hell of a roller coaster ride, one that left me (and my life) hanging upside down for awhile.

Through all that's been happening in my life, however, I've found some kind of peace. If you told me a year ago that I would be the person I am now, I would have never believed it (because I was stubborn back then and thought my world was doomed 75% of the time). Part of this new found peace (and patience) I can contribute to growing older and maturing.

The other part? Finally accepting the things that I cannot change. Appreciating the good in my life. Believing that the best is yet to come. Excitement for the future rather than worry. Taking it one day at a time. Not putting so much pressure on myself. Allowing myself to have bad days, while realizing that they will pass and tomorrow is always a new start. The list goes on, but I think you get the gist.

Post-grad life has not been easy, especially when it comes to patience. Although at this point is it even considered "post-grad" life, since I graduated over two years ago? I guess not! I'm starting to shift into a more comfortable, confident position in my life. The funny part is that not much has changed externally. I'm still searching for that "dream job" and have had several different positions since graduating. I'm still living at home, for the time being, until I can get a solid financial foundation going. I'm still single, although that part isn't necessarily a focus in my life right now anyway. My point is that what has truly changed is me. And that's what I was missing this whole time.

Sometimes we get stuck in the mindset that "if only ____ would happen, then my life would be better" or "if I had ____ in my life, surely everything would fall into place", etc, etc. I was a slave to this way of thinking for years. I definitely knew better, but it was very difficult for me to break this habit. I was so convinced that I needed my life to change externally in order for things to change internally.

Don't get me wrong, I still make mistakes. I still fall into this mindset (a lot more than I care to admit). But what's changed is that I've learned to be patient with myself and with my life. I know that when I start thinking this way, I either need to let myself ride it out or talk myself out of it because I know better (it all depends on my mood that day, haha!)

I hope that you're able to take away something positive from this post. I know how difficult it is to be patient, not only with your life, but with yourself as well. Ironically, I'm writing this right now while in a terrible mood. Yet, I'm able to control it because I know it's only temporary. So next time you feel like you just can't take anymore: close your eyes, take a deep breath and remind yourself that everything will be okay. Be patient with yourself. 

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