Sunday, September 20, 2015

Life Lately: Gloomy & Gray

When I say gloomy and gray, I don't mean the weather. The weather here has actually been sunny and still really hot, which only adds to my cranky moods. I've been ready for Fall for weeks. I am beyond over the summer. There's something about Fall that awakens something in me. That whole quote about life starting over in the Fall rings so true to me. And I'm at a point in my life where I need to start over. Hence the whole gloomy and gray thing. Even if it's bright and sunny outside, everything feels gloomy and gray to me. Not to say that I'm depressed, but I'm certainly not at 100%.

This post is kind of the complete opposite of what I usually write here or at least the messages I try to send out to others. I like to be as positive as possible and I like spreading that positivity. But I also want to be real with you and right now, truthfully, my life isn't all rainbows and butterflies. On the bright side, though, I know that this phase in my life is only temporary (as I've talked about in this past post). Yet, we all know how difficult it is to convince yourself that things will be better soon when it seems everything kind of just, well, sucks.

I've been wanting to get more into my blog for a very long time now, but I suffer from writer's block, laziness, lack of motivation, etc. I've also been trying to start writing my first novel, but that project is suffering from all of the above as well. Some days are great, but most days are not.

What is most frustrating for me is that I know I'm the only one with the power to get myself out of this current gray, gloomy slump. By forcing myself to just do the things I want to do, forcing myself to get back into healthy habits, etc. It's all up to me, that I know. But I've always sucked at self-control, unfortunately.

As a society in general, we try so hard to portray our lives in a positive manner. You look on Facebook and Instagram and the majority of people are posting about happy things. Bloggers do this too (maybe even more so). It's not just that we want others to think that we are living these wonderful, happy lives, but in a way we're trying to convince ourselves, too. But we don't have to be happy, or even just okay, all of the time. It's okay to be sad, it's okay to feel gloomy. So that's why I decided to share how I'm truly feeling lately. Because I'm human and life gets tough. And that's okay.

If you ever feel you need someone to talk to, please don't be shy - shoot me an email! Sometimes gaining an outsider's perspective is exactly what you need. Or sometimes, you just need to let it all out. And I'd be more than happy to be that person for you.

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