Tuesday, July 14, 2015

The End of an Era

Recently I have faced the end of an era, or at least what feels like the end of era to me. I'm not going to go into details because it is something very personal, but I do want to share what the experience has taught me, especially when it comes to life in general.

I always liked to imagine each individual life as a book. You fill your own book with chapters and each chapter represents different periods of your life, or maybe just certain events that were game changers. Some books are short. Some books are long. Some are boring. Some are full of adventure. Some are beautiful and heart breaking love stories. Some are filled with lessons. They all have a story to tell, though.

In my case, I imagine my life as a series of novels. Each book, even though it's filled with chapters highlighting different events and times in my life, must come to an end at some point. We are meant to move on. It doesn't mean that none of it ever happened, or that we didn't learn from it. Some stories we still have left open-ended and that is often times very exciting. Other stories...  well, we must come to terms with the fact that they have been completed. And if you're anything like me, it could be a very sad moment.
Have you ever read a book and once it was over you're filled with the strangest melancholy? Or maybe you read a series of novels (take Harry Potter, for instance) and once you're finished and you know that was the last book of the series you'll ever read, you wish you could experience it all over again. That's exactly how I've been feeling about this "end of an era" I recently faced.

However sad it may be, for reason simply being that you're filled with nostalgia of yesteryear, you eventually need to come to terms with the fact that the past is the past. I've never been good on leaving the past behind. Those who have meant so much to me, who have influenced my life at every turn—well, I have trouble letting go of that. It's always been plain and simple: I care too much. I don't necessarily view that as a bad thing. I am who I am and I like the fact that I am such a caring person (so if you ever hear me crying and cursing the universe for making me who I am, just ignore that, it usually passes).

These past twelve years (roughly) I have learned so, so, SO much. For whatever reason, I feel like I'm finally closing the door on my childhood. Up until now I saw myself as still being a girl (and really, I probably always will a little bit). However, as cheesy as it is to say, I feel that all of my experiences up until now have finally led me to become a women. I'm saying goodbye to my childhood (and I use this term to refer to teenage years, mostly) and because of that I've been feeling pretty nostalgic lately. I keep thinking back on so many memories and smiling (with some crying thrown in the mix as well, of course) but in my heart I know it's time to close that door and open a new one. I've been feeling really excited for my future and also more peaceful and worry-free of what's to come. I may still be that lost and confused post-grad millennial in some sense, but I'm no where how I used to be.

So, while this may be an end of an era, I think it's also the start of a new one. 
And that, friends, is beyond exciting.

4 comments

  1. Thinking of you and sending good vibes in this time of transition.

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  2. Thank you for sharing these thoughts. Twelve years is a long time to be in a place, literally or figuratively, and I understand how this change must have moved you

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  3. Embracing the end of anything is wonderful. You can only evolve and grow when you usher in change. I have the feeling that you're going to be just fine!

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  4. Kristine CircenisJuly 16, 2015 at 10:56 AM

    I haven't resonated so much with a post until now. I am going through something very similar right now and the hardest part for me has been trying not to overthink. I find that when I'm not preoccupied my mind will wonder to think thoughts like "What if I had done something differently?" or "what if _____ didn't happen?" It's been hard, but we both will get through this, like all grown-ups do (usually). Moving on is hard and sucks, but know that you've got at least one other person experiencing similar experiences right along with ya :)

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