Thursday, February 12, 2015

How did I go from being a lazy bum to a workaholic?

Never in a million years would I see myself as a "workaholic." An overachiever, a perfectionist, etc, etc. Suddenly, these words are starting to describe me pretty well, and to be honest, that scares me. I don't want to say that I've been a lazy bum my whole life... but in a way, I kind of have been. I've always been a creative soul and had grandiose ideas, but I never actually went through with anything. I never really found that motivation or that extra jolt to get me to the point where I was serious about any of this. I was perfectly fine binge watching Netflix, taking nap after nap, spending hours playing the Sims: the list goes on. I always did enough at school just to get by, sometimes really putting in that extra effort if it was something I truly cared about. Now I find myself at the point where I'm working a 9 to 5 job in which I'm trying hard to prove myself and train myself as fast as possible while also taking up my blogging/writing life up about 1000%. What the hell happened to me?!

I suddenly don't want to waste any time watching t.v. or even sleeping. If I'm not working on either my career or my blogI feel a sense of guilt and just general discontent. I still don't know if this is only a phase I'm going through (and I'm kind of hoping it isn't). I've been thinking about this personality change a lot lately and I'm worried for several reasons. Number one being that it is just a phase, as stated above, and that eventually I will burn out and be as useless as a deflated party balloon. Number two is worrying that if I keep headed down this path I might end up stressing myself out to an extreme level. Number three would be freaking out that I am legitimately turning into a workaholic and I will never be able to turn myself around. Number four is that I'm actually liking this change in myself. But I know I have to find some kind of balance.
I want to get so much done. In as little time as possible. Perhaps this is all coming from spending months of basically doing nothing with my life and now suddenly I'm doing ALL THE THINGS. I am very grateful to have something to do and I am glad that I am so motivated. I just don't want to see these changes in my life end up affecting my mental and physical well-being. For example, this week has been extremely exhausting but I haven't been able to sleep very well. Naturally, you'd think I'd be able to hit my pillow and instantly snooze, but that's not the case at all. I think it's because my mind is on over-drive. I am trying so hard to succeed after months of failure. Maybe that's what it really boils down to.

The key here is probably finding a work-life balance. I know I'm still pretty new to this whole full-time job real world thing so it may take some time for me to truly adjust. Lots of advice on this particular topic points to focusing on your hobbies more, but the problem is... blogging is my hobby. It's the one hobby in my entire 23 years of living that I've actually stuck with and found most satisfying. It also probably doesn't help that my new job is centered around marketing and social media—things that go hand in hand with blogging. I just feel that I don't have enough hours in the day. And the exhaustion? It's awful. I normally hate being exhausted, but with all this new found motivation and ambition, feeling exhausted is ten times worse.

So what's a gal to do? Have you ever faced similar issues? What did you do to get through it?


  1. I love this post. I am actually in a reverse as you. I've been a workaholic and now relaxing. It's hard to get back in the swing of things.

  2. I completely understand what you mean about this drastic change, because I've experienced something similar! I always noticed that I did exactly what I needed to just get by in school. I mean my grades weren't terrible or anything, but there was definitely minimal effort on my part, and I could have done so much more. This even continued into my freshman year of college. But then I really buckled down on studying this past semester (as a sophomore), and it's amazing what it has done for my work ethic. I have the same fear as you however, I feel like I need to find more of a balance so I don't burn myself out!

  3. You're definitely right. I've been trying to even things out lately and I think so far it's going well!

  4. It's really good that you're putting more effort and focus into school, I wish I had done the same. It's better to start having that kind of work ethic the younger you are so you can learn and carry it with you for life! But you're right, make sure you find a healthy balance between "work" and fun-time, or else you'll crash and burn. And trust me - that's no fun haha