Sunday, January 26, 2014

Staying In Touch With Friends Post-College

With all the people you meet at school, you're bound to make a few life-long friends along the way. Most of the time these friends are people you see every day—whether it's to go to class, get lunch/dinner, study at the library, go out to the bars or maybe you even lived with some of these friends—point is they become an integral part of your life. So what happens after you graduate? It's more than just the summer apart now. A lot of your friends might move back home or get a job somewhere else. Regardless of the circumstances, the majority of you will end up going in different directions (and I mean this location-wise as well as life-wise.) As sad as it may be, many friendships may not make it through this transitional period. It may seem like an inevitable part of life, but I think the problem really lies in lack of effort from both sides of the spectrum. While I've only been out of school for 8 months now (time FLIES) I've already experienced a lot of changes in many of my friendships. I'm one of the lucky ones though and feel that I am still close to most of my friends. Although we may not get to talk every single day or see each other that often, we all still make an effort to stay in touch. It is certainly more difficult now and changes can be a really scary part of life, but it's doable! Here are some of my tips on staying in touch with friends after you graduate and maintaining those close bonds you formed throughout your years together:

  • Plan a huge get together. The trick here is making sure you plan it plenty of time in advance (at least a month, but not too in advance that people end up forgetting about it) in order to make sure that people can plan accordingly and actually attend! Also, if your get together involves drinking, it'd be smart to try and get a limo or party bus so no one has to be the designated driver. It's also easier (and so much more fun!) to have everybody travel in one bunch. You also want to try and plan it during  a time when more people are likely to be home (assuming you are all from one area) that way even those who have moved away for work will still be able to attend as well. I recently planned a huge get together for all my friends a couple days after Christmas when most people were not only home for the holidays but also free from work and other responsibilities.

  • Use technology! We live in an age where there is really no excuse for not being able to contact someone. Don't let yourself get so busy that you don't have time to send a simple text to see how people are doing. A phone call to catch up every once in awhile is also a great way to stay in touch and keep the friendship alive. Don't let your pride get in the way of being the first to reach out. Also, don't just rely on commenting on their Facebook posts and instagram pictures. While it is a way of keeping in touch, it's not very personable. If you both always seem to be busy, at least try to do private messaging on Facebook. Make use of all the technology our generation is provided with! Try setting up Skype dates with friends. You can even do group chats to make it more of a "get together" feel.

  • Make a trip out of visiting them. If they live somewhere else, and you have the means to do so, go visit them! It's a great way to get a change of scenery and some vacay time while also getting to spend time with your friend. In some cases you might end up liking it so much where they now live that you end up moving there, too! It's a great time to travel while we're still young and not plagued with a ton of responsibilities. It can also be the perfect time to travel and see more parts of the country/world because you'll know people who live in these areas. This hopefully means you not only have a place to say but also your own personal tour guide! One of my friends recently moved to Paris and you better believe I'm already planning my trip to visit her. 

  • Vacation together. This is slightly similar to the previous tip, but this way you can meet up with a few friends at one designated vacation spot. Agree to get together at least once a year. Obviously a lot of these tips involve both parties being willing to put in the effort, but sometimes it's good to have a certain date planned out way in advance to get people more willing to do so. A weekend getaway once a year is a perfect way of getting together and might not require anyone to take off work. For example, Memorial Day weekend is a perfect time to plan something because it's longer which gives more time for travel and it's also a time most people get off work. These yearly trips can even become some type of tradition which gives you even more of an opportunity to stay in touch.

  • Make time for friends. This is my most important piece of advice. Don't let yourself get so wrapped up in your new life, new job, maybe even new friends, that you forget about your old ones and all those people who got you through the last four years and who shared all those awesome college memories with you. It does take time and effort but a life-time friendship takes work and commitment. Trust me though, it's totally worth it. It does take two to tango, and if you feel that you are the only one putting in the effort to maintain a friendship than maybe it just isn't worth it. Don't let your pride get in the way however. It does neither of you any good to be bitter that the other person hasn't texted or called you first. We all have a lot going on in our lives. You have to be understanding of each other. But always remember, even though you might have a super busy schedule, it only takes ten minutes of your day to text or call a friend for a quick chat!



  1. Нi there, Idiscovered yolur sіte by the use off Google eveո as lookіng for a геlated matter, your web ѕite got here up,
    it looks good. I have bоokmarked it in my google bookmarks.

    Hі theгe, just became aware of your blog via Google, and found that it is trսly infoгmativе.
    I am gonna watch out for brussеls. I'll appreciate when
    you prоceed this in future. ʟots of other people can be benefіtеd out of yօur writing.

  2. Wɦat's up, just waոted tο mention, I loved thiѕ article.
    It was inspirіng. Kеep oon posting!